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One of the trickiest parts about transitioning to a more healthful lifestyle is maintaining relationships with others, participating in customary social rituals like meals and parties, while still keeping the balance of eating healthy. Indeed, this can be challenging in terms of keeping up the momentum and keeping things going in terms of your own level of deep cleaning and detox in order to solve your health problems or achieve your health goals.
I will explain using an example. For me personally, I might go several weeks eating very healthy and eating a lot of raw foods and fruits. Whenever I keep this up, I feel like a zillion dollars and I get into a really good rhythm with all the different aspects of my life and I feel strongly that I am making strong progress towards all of my important goals.
Then, I might get a text from an old friend: ‘Hey it’s been forever. We should catch up. Want to grab dinner this week?’ So then we’ll make plans and meet for dinner. It is a glorious reunion, and I will feel good both spiritually and emotionally because this friendship means a lot to me. During the course of the evening I may indulge for the evening food-wise and I might eat things that I wouldn’t have otherwise eaten that day including cooked food like cooked vegetables. I’ll go home, brush my teeth, go to bed and all is well.
The next day I will wake up with a slight food hangover. I will lack the same energy I normally have, and feel a bit sluggish and bloated. I might feel some soreness or a bit of aches in connective tissues of the body or a few weaker points of my body like a knee or shoulder. It seems like whenever I consume acid-forming foods my body can adjust to this acidic chemistry by buffering it with calcium from connective tissue. Overall, I will go about my day, trying to eat healthy, and will function just fine with no severe issues. By the following day, I will feel almost completely back to normal. I will get back on the Healthy Train and regain momentum back and then plow ahead.
Was it worth it? For me, most of the time — yes. Maintaining certain relationships, and starting new ones is quite important for me. It nourishes me on a deeper level that just physically, and so to me if it nourishes me on a soul level then I can sometimes justify going out and cutting it up in terms of having some type of communion with other people who aren’t as concerned with eating healthy as I am.
If you really want to be super healthy, you can always just order a salad if not cooked vegetables. It depends on the restaurant, but most places have some options available on the menu that are healthy or acceptable, or can otherwise accommodate your ‘special needs’ of wanting to eat healthy. Watch out though because there are some restaurants (not to mention dinner parties) that only serve indulgent, unhealthy foods and don’t really have healthy options. It helps to be able to look up the menu ahead of time.
I will say there is something a little odd about eating a vegetable salad, or even cooked vegetables, across the table from somebody who is digging into steak and potatoes. I don’t really mind what somebody else is eating, but I have noticed that this contrast does seem to create a little bit of distance between two people. Food is one of the great bonding experiences that humans have together. And when you eat the same foods or same types of foods, you bond more strongly.
So meeting a friend nowadays in this manner is not quite the ‘breaking bread’ experience that I used to have with some friends when we used to grill hamburgers and drink beer together. Those days are sadly over for me and I do miss that feeling. But, the feeling I get from not consuming those things is so much greater — on a deeper and more rewarding level.
It does help if you parlay with individuals who are quite easy-going and don’t make a big deal about food or what you’re eating. Just like I don’t care if somebody across from me eats a chicken-friend steak, hopefully that person doesn’t really mind if I eat a seemingly boring meal of vegetables.
Not necessarily with friends, but perhaps more so in other settings, there are times — many times in fact — when I have found myself being severely judged by somebody who just finds what I am eating to be so strange or bizarre. This could be somebody close to me, an acquaintance, a family member, an old distant friend, or more of a stranger.
Quite frankly, people might look at you like you’re a space alien just because you’re eating a salad for lunch. It’s happened to me more times than I could possibly count. I don’t know what to say about it other than for some people it’s not a big deal, and for other people they are so attached to the foods they are eating that they have a hard time grappling with your health journey you are on and the ambition you are demonstrating to change what you’re putting into your body.
Your co-workers may find it odd to see what you’re having for lunch. When I used to eat lunch at an office, my solution to this was simply to eat my lunch at my desk, rather than taking it into the common eating areas. I learned to do that after spending enough lunchtimes being asked about what I’m eating and having to explain myself which seemed to take up a lot of extra energy and bandwidth.
Some people are more evangelistic about promoting a healthy lifestyle — we need people like that too. My approach has always felt more personal. Most people are not going to buy into what you’re doing anyway, although a few might take an interest. If they’re interested in improving their health, they will seek out and find this information. That is one of my big goals here at Rapid Regeneration is to help those people and have this information ready for them — if they ever become interested and ready for it themselves.
Sometimes I have observed that some people give out a really strange, negative vibration when they see I am eating something very healthy or choosing not to eat or drink what everybody else is consuming. They might start to comment and give their opinion about a very healthy lifestyle. Perhaps he or she will object generally and say something like: “How do you live like that?” They may unconsciously give out negativity and judgment, often without even realizing it. This person might say something under the guise of concern like: “Aren’t you worried you’ll be deficient in something or become anemic?”
Depending on the vibes of the individual questioning you, this can be rather unpleasant to deal with. But when I say unpleasant, it’s not like running across a field of gunfire, or fishing through a garbage dump for recyclable scraps, or running away from a rabid dog — it’s only mildly unpleasant and can be handled with grace and poise.
This again is one of the challenges of embracing a healthier lifestyle — you may be looked at by some as some kind of novelty, a freak, and something very different.
I’m warning you that when you take the bull by the horns and really go after your health it is guaranteed at some point to freak some people out. For you to do this is different and quite frankly many people get scared by something different.
Getting back to your own personal relationship with food, there are some wellness gurus that will insist on near or total abstinence from any cooked foods. I understand the philosophy behind that and I think it’s a valid point. Indeed, every meal is a chemical battle that is either won or lost. If I eat cooked foods, I sort of lose that battle in terms of over-acidity. Everything is a balance — it ultimately just depends on the individual, what you can tolerate and get away with in terms of eating cooked foods versus raw foods, and what’s most important to you. Personally, while relatively speaking I probably eat strictly compared with some, I am not a purist or so rigid in this regard.
An important question to determine what you should eat is — where are you at in terms of your health journey? If you are very deep into a detox phase, then avoiding cooked vegetables might be a good idea, because if you eat them it may slow or stop your detoxification process dead in its tracks. On the other hand, if you are quite developed into regeneration, feeling good, and are just maintaining your results, then you may be okay with a small setback in terms of eating cooked vegetables.
Lastly, I will say that it does help to connect with some people who are on the same wavelength. Here in Austin, TX, at the time of writing, there is a monthly or weekly meetup (depending on the time of year) of individuals who are interested in a healthy lifestyle, where people enjoy fruit, salads, and healthy foods at a local health food restaurant and sort of local cultural epicenter, Casa De Luz. It’s fun to get together with other kind souls who are interested in self-healing and there is always a high-vibrational buzz. If you are ever in town, you should come check it out and maybe I’ll see you there.
Ultimately, after you make a commitment to getting yourself detoxed and thriving at a high level health-wise, functioning with other people is tricky because you will no longer be the same back-slapping, oyster-eating, French-fry dipping Regular Joe or Jane that you once were. Some of your old friends and family may notice that and frankly people will miss that about you. You will lose out on certain special bonds you had when you used to eat and drink junk with your pals.
The tradeoff is that you will have gained a newfound power, strength, and positive vibration of your own amazing new journey. Ultimately, the good ones will still love you for who you are, and you can still love them back as much as you want. It’s not always easy to turn down Mom’s home cooking — let me tell you. But the love should and does transcend the food.
Ultimately, please don’t let other people hold you back from becoming or being who you really are.